Feelings of Life and Death

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Originally uploaded by andebos.

It was nearly impossible to miss the fact that Pope John Paul II passed this weekend. The mourners were tremendous as I checked out the coverage on yahoo and a few television stations. Let me first say that I am finding the Pope to truly be an amazing man. I do not wholeheartedly agree with everything he believed...however, I think we can all pay a little respect and thankfulness towards a life devoted to Christ. I read an article from Tim's website that really moved me on the powers of forgiveness. What an example. Before I move on, please take a moment of remembrance for a great man who remained faithful to his expression of Faith to our Lord... ....It really turned some gears in my head to observe how I process "death." I have a strong feeling that what I'm about to write may offend several of you - therefore, allow me to say up front, that is not my intent. Basically, I want to share how I process, react, or view death. This is in no way a suggestion of how you should view death, this is merely my observation of my feelings. On that note, let me also say that, for the large part, my experience is mostly theoretical as I haven't lost a signifigant amount of people in my life. Well, without further ado - let's travel through my mind.

I think my initial feelings always dwelve into the emotional side - this means I am touched at an emotional level. The worse part with this is that it is painstakingly obvious whether I care or not - based off of initial feelings. Which will lead me into my point later. If I am close to the person and share an intimacy on a personal level, it is impossible to not be affected in my heart. However, It's a bit different towards those I do not share this connection. And further, those with whom I share this connection, this is eventually how I will feel too. My feelings on death jump back to the cross and Christ's interactions with the two men being crucified with him. At one point the cross is a place of enormous pain, loss, and sadness - and I could only imagine intense physical pain that is manifested emotionally too. More than this - I believe that God removed himself from the life of Christ on the cross for the sake of us - creating an overwhelming breaking of the heart. I think in death we each share a bit of this kind of heartache and loss...but nowhere near the signifigance that Christ felt. On the other hand, I see Christ's confidence when he tells the criminal that he will be with him in heaven this day. That is truly amazing. In death I see the loss, pain, loneliness, and sadness; but, I also see the beginning of life and God's ultimate will that we cannot touch (which is even more dynamic and amazing). It is this portrayal of his will that floors me. For once in our life it puts us in a place where we have no choice but to surrender ourselves to His reality - and not the reality of the situations around us. We are at his mercy...and that mercy is full of grace and love. Because, it's a place of faith where we trust and give our control over to Christ to redeem us...and that is powerful.

I suppose that is why I am not such a mourner at death...especially of people with whom I do not share a personal connection. With those whom I do - I eventually understand the power that is Christ in your death. How can I fight against God? The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away...blessed be his name. I think after we arrive at this place we also experience the peace that transcends all understanding. We don't need to fear, or have control, or have the answers...because God's power shines through it all and provides this bizzare sensation of peace that makes no sense whatsoever - but it's there. And I think, it's the realities of the Kingdom of Heaven breaking into our world - and what is that to not be grateful and joyous about? Amazing...so you ask me about sadness in death, and I share it with you - but I also see God's Kingdom and life in breaking into our world. But, I also don't feel like physical death is the only place where this reality exists. There are so many spaces where we ourselves die, where others die, where our illusions die...and out of that is born God's realities. What things are dying around you? How is this death manifested in you? and how is Christ's kingdom being manifested from death into life?