My Best Friend Is Gone
Do you know why they call a boy's dog, Man's best friend? It's actually quite a simple fact...because every boy cries his heart out when he's gone - I'm sorry I couldn't have been there with you Boston...I miss you so much, you meant the world to me, I'll never forget you
"You know when you get old in life things get taken from you. That's, that's part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff." I rarely write about things I haven't fully or near fully reckoned with, well, tonight, that's all out the window. I lost my best friend today as it was his time to leave us. Many of you called this evening, forgive me for not calling back...I wasn't much in the mood to talk, and the one person I did speak with, I apologize for my lack of conversation. What does one feel when they lose someone they loved more than themself? I walked home alone after work this evening, feeling for the first time in a completely new city, void of any memories or recognition. However, it didn't feel unfamiliar, I knew my way around and yet everything seemed fresh and new while shrowded with the dryness of life and death. I walked expressionless looking from left to right, passing people all around me...trying to think clearly but only clouded with thoughts and questions and emotions. Perhaps it's the fist time I've truly cried since my last great loss..."hoping that you'll never be lonely again is a fear that you just can't face. I'm just waiting for the light to change." As I walked I began to think more clearly, especially as I forced myself to return upon my regular route home, instead of walking aimlessly through a snow and rain drenched city night. I thought about the theological weight of it all...is this alarming deterioration of my friend's body a direct cause of the sin in my life? Is it just the normal flow of life? Perhaps I'd prefer to be completely sinful, that way, from a "religious" point of view I can blame myself as opposed to god. How can you take something so innocent? How can you kill your own son? It was because of my sin. If I was innocent it couldn't make sense...but perhaps it's beyond me to understand and this idea of sin is petty and incomprehensible for me. Maybe, it has nothing to do with me. At this point child like questions arise. Can you bring him back to life God? Please! Then I begin to question again...do you really believe God has the power to bring him back to life? will he go to heaven...even if I believe he has the power do I believe he will, is the answer to that question really defining the previous one in terms of my beliefs? Then I flash back to being a young boy with his own first dog. Why was I so blessed with such an amazing animal? At this point I don't want to celebrate his death but rather his life and the memories he brought up on me and my family...more than that - the blessings he was given that he in turn gave completely up to us. The Lord Giveth..." Boston had an amazing ability to know just what to say and hear. Though no one knows this I often came home, alone, and would have conversations with him about girls, life, god, whatever...he sat there fully attentive, eyes wide on me. Never once did he interject - rather, he would respond, "That's amazing insight! Why, you're a genius, I never would have thought of that!" When I made myself a fool he celebrated and joined in. When I was sad he crept in closely, happy, he smiled his famous smile. He was a friend, notorious for sitting next to his loved ones, smiling as he invited others to him, watching the world pass by in peace from his door into life, excited at small things like a simple walk with a friend, hopping in a joy of life, and simply put - he was a dog of peace and love. Boston was peace for all of us - a reminder of how simple and loving this life can be within our house. He was my best friend...I don't think I've ever met anyone like him, nor do I think I ever will again. I hope God makes a place for my friend in heaven, I miss him. A boy's best friend, that's what Boston was for me...love, peace, patience, kindness, a true sign of God - a friend that embodies everything of love and loyalty, I could never have asked for more. I suppose now I know what it means to say, "The Lord Giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be His name. Blessed be His name." Doesn't make the pain go away...and there's so much more to say to a friend already gone, can you hear me? Are you hopping for me? "Want to go for a walk Boston?" I'll forever cherish those words as you...
I can't believe you're gone...please wake up Boston...
I'm waiting for the world to fall, I'm waiting for the scene to change, I'm waiting when the colors come, I'm waiting to let my world come undone, And the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You, When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me, My view is changing me, I'm waiting..." Thank You God for taking away his pain, we'll take it for a while
posted by andebos at 5:50 PM
21 Comments:
Tyler,
It makes me cry just thinking about him not being there at the house anymore. I was at your parents on Saturday, I want to assure you that he is in a better place. Him and Bobo are now friends playing together. My thoughts are with you.
Laura
Hey man I am sorry you have lost your best friend. I know he ment the world to you. He ment the world to this family. I know I will miss his so much. I love you Ty and if you ever need to talk you can call me your Brother Mike
Hey man I am sorry that I didnt take any video of him for you. I know he meant the world to you and this family. I am sorry you couldnt be there too. I wish you could have. I miss you and him so much. I love you and I hope your doin ok. If you ever need me call. Love Your brother Mike
Hey Ty, I'm really sorry. I'm glad I got to meet Boston a few weeks ago. He was a really great dog, and I know he's irreplaceable. Our hearts are with you right now...
Elisa
Too bad I can't fix this like you fixed my guitar. I'll let you borrow Buster though if you want... he's a pretty good listner. He's not as well behaved as Boston but let's be honest. Another Boston would be pretty hard to come by...
This sucks!!!
he was one of the best dogs I've ever known. Ty, sorry for your loss. This month has been crappy. I heard on CNN podcast that Jan 23 was the worst most depressing day of the year, due to some equation that some guy came up with (I could have told him that, it's my birthday). I wouldn't be more honored or distraught if the Pope, President, and all of Europe dead on the same day. Well, here's to Boston. A brilliant dog.
Maybe this will cheer you up a bit... sorry again ty. If you need a chat I'm here.
http://www.ifilm.com/player/mac.jsp?ifilmId=2668992&pg=default&skin=default&refsite=default&mediaSize=default&context=top100&launchVal=1&data=7
"...There were so many fewer questions when stars were still just the holes to heaven..."
Boston was a great dog.
Eric, Tyler, & Mike, may each day be better than the next. (Eric, happy late Birthday!) Mr. Bush came to Manhattan KS yesterday. As for sin, I believe in inherited sin. But we each have a soul, including golden retrievers. It is not your own sin, your fault or guilt. Please accept this and may your time of morning pass to remember the good times and memories. I realize it may be to early, but my cousins golden lab is having pups real soon, if not already. One life goes, as another arrives.
"May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand."
"...There were so many fewer questions when stars were still just the holes to heaven..."
Boston was a great dog.
Eric, Tyler, & Mike, may each day be better than the next. (Eric, happy late Birthday!) Mr. Bush came to Manhattan KS yesterday. As for sin, I believe in inherited sin. But we each have a soul, including golden retrievers. It is not your own sin, your fault or guilt. Please accept this and may your time of morning pass to remember the good times and memories. I realize it may be to early, but my cousins golden lab is having pups real soon, if not already. One life goes, as another arrives.
"May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand."
"...There were so many fewer questions when stars were still just the holes to heaven..."
Boston was a great dog.
Eric, Tyler, & Mike, may each day be better than the next. (Eric, happy late Birthday!) Mr. Bush came to Manhattan KS yesterday. As for sin, I believe in inherited sin. But we each have a soul, including golden retrievers. It is not your own sin, your fault or guilt. Please accept this and may your time of morning pass to remember the good times and memories. I realize it may be to early, but my cousins golden lab is having pups real soon, if not already. One life goes, as another arrives.
"May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand."
Tyler -
I had to go through this exact same thing almost two years ago. I can't remember when I cried like I did that morning. I'm sorry, bro. It's crazy... how those awesome dogs become a part of our heart, our lives...
If you want to read (I warn you...) about my process... http://jacobswellchurch.org/blogs/jason/archives/001139.html and http://jacobswellchurch.org/blogs/jason/archives/001140.html
A good cry just happened here at 2am...
On a lighter note, looks like Boston in mid-February for me. Let's connect.
I know what you're going through, brother...
Cheers.
Thanks everyone...you know, the hardest part is living in a city where I hear his name mentioned all day long - who would have thought he'd go so soon
tyler, Boston gave us all so many great gifts.. He was always there to greet us. with his smile even when he could not see us. He was so giveing and so patient with everyone and thing. I truely believe most of his tempermment came from the calm training you did with him when he was little. We all miss him.. I even moved my toast further bak on the counter this morning so he would not reach up and get it. I wish you could have been here before he went.... None of us thought it would be so fast. He now gets to be a fat, running dog chasing birds and bunnies that he can see and eating what ever he wants with no diabetis and no hip problems. What a life... maybe he has met bobo and tiny!
We love you and are feeling your loss everyday in this empty house.
love mom
hey ty. truley a crap thing. he was a big dog and will always remember how his tail would hit me in the nuts. hang in there, and like everyone else i'm around if you want to talk. just shoot me an email of what time and i'll be on ichat waiting. (could you tell eric to stop saying things that include "all of europe being dead..." i'm over here and those kinds of phrases creep me out). love you brother.
Sorry about that, I just checked my globe and I guess Italy isn’t in Asia. I always considered the Boot to be an article of clothing that was worn below the pants, in most instances, or the country worn below Europe and that is part of Asia. Not a country that is part of Europe. That is the only reason I allowed you to go. Retraction: (Everyone in Europe, excluding Matt!)
sorry for your loss tyler, I know how you feel, we had to have Cody put down a year ago and I still keep a picture of her in my bedroom, its a rough few months but you have to reconcile that they are out out pain, and free of worry, and having a great time scampering across the fields of heaven.
Uncle John
Hey man I talked to the lankfords not to long ago and philip said they had to put duchess down. Sad all over man
That is sad, though Duchess had a bad habit of biting our tires, it's sad nonetheless. I appreciate everyone's comments, know that they have truly helped. It's good to be surrounded by friends that take the time to reach me, even the one's whom I haven't talked with forever - thanks everyone! Know you're loved, thanks for loving me - I can feel it
someday Boston and I will go for more walks together and I can see him excitedly hopping at the door barking
love the golf picture at the top of the site... awesome
Mike P
Hey, Tyler. You don't know me but I feel like I know you thru a mutual pal, Mathew. He talked to me often and so warmly about his bestus buddy, the teacher.
I think I was guided to your blog at this particular time because the terrible life experience you are going though is an emerging reality for me as well. My own "hairy child" has been very sick these last 3 weeks and come to find out finally yesterday she has inoperable cancer. So, the sad reality that the time will soon come to let her go has invaded me like the evil disease in her little body.
Heartbreaking as your post is, it is helping me wrap my head around the upcoming loss of my own pet and treasure these last days with her.
Thank you for sharing so honestly and please know you are not alone - on many levels. And I too believe these creatures have a special place in the hereafter - they've gone ahead to check it out for us & will be waiting to greet us with those happy, wagging tails.
Be well.
Hey, Tyler. You don't know me but I feel as thou I know you thru a mutual pal, Mathew. He spoke to me often and so warmly of his bestus buddy, the teacher.
I think I was guided to your blog at this particular moment in time because the terrible life experience you are going through will soon be a reality for myself. My own "hairy child" has been very sick these last 3 weeks and come to find out yesterday finally she has inoperable cancer. The reality that she will be departing this world has invaded me like the evil disease taking over her little body. Your words mirror so closely my own sorrow.
Heartbreaking as your post is, it has helped me wrap my head around my own dog's impending departure from my life and to treasure these final, precious days with her.
Thank you for sharing your loss with such honesty. Please know that you are not alone at this sad time. And I too believe that these creatures have a special place in the hereafter. They go ahead to check things out for us & will be waiting for us with those happy, wagging tails.
Be well.
Hey, Tyler. You don't know me but I feel as thou I know you thru a mutual pal, Mathew. He spoke to me often and so warmly of his bestus buddy, the teacher.
I think I was guided to your blog at this particular moment in time because the terrible life experience you are going through will soon be a reality for myself. My own "hairy child" has been very sick these last 3 weeks and come to find out yesterday finally she has inoperable cancer. The reality that she will be departing this world has invaded me like the evil disease taking over her little body. Your words mirror so closely my own sorrow.
Heartbreaking as your post is, it has helped me wrap my head around my own dog's impending departure from my life and to treasure these final, precious days with her.
Thank you for sharing your loss with such honesty. Please know that you are not alone at this sad time. And I too believe that these creatures have a special place in the hereafter. They go ahead to check things out for us & will be waiting for us with those happy, wagging tails.
Be well.
Post a Comment
<< Home