Verb for the week

spontaneous, originally uploaded by andebos.

This past weekend I finally have reached a few conclusions about my working life and my after working life. After work on Friday I received a call from my friend the Dr. Bowman who asked if I wanted to meet at Starbucks around 5ish and grab some dinner. This slightly changed as he then met me at work and finished some work online while I prepared things for next week. Shortly after we both finished up, actually come to think of it, neither of us got much done. Anyway, we ventured off and sat down to eat at a local pub. From there we discussed some fairly heavy issues, oddly enough this back sprung off of a conversation I initiated confessing that I don't engage in many meaningfull, deeply contemplative, conversations anymore. If you look at my blog I think this is fairly evident too. Well, that certainly changed during our convos. Near the end he began to tell me about a book he was reading. (Prior to we had just begun discussing reading the "right kind" of books. Those that are deeply authentic and life altering - as opposed to another self-help, money making agendaed, cheesy but deluding book) The book he recommended was Tracy Kidder's Mountains Beyond Mountains about Dr. Paul Farmer, a doctor working in Boston/Haiti. Bowman confessed little about the book other than I needed to read it and soon we would need to discuss it. We therefore left to Borders, he bought the book for me, wrote inside the cover "To Tyler- I hope the deeper parts of this book really affect your walk w/ God & His people. Johnathan Bowman." He wouldn't even let me read the back cover or look at the thing until we parted at the train station. Thus far I'm only a few chapters in but I'm beginning to see what he meant and it hits a high note on many things I've come to feel and realize in the past few years since...

That's all I'll leave you with that - but, from that interaction and experience I realized a vital fact about my life. I enjoy planning, events, parties, gatherings, things set in motion long before, however, I love spontaneity more than anything. From the beginning of working when items are planned during my free time I become slightly stressed at the thought of attending, why? I have no clue...but I know now that I do. When events come together spontaneously in the moment, or are suprising, I am more often compelled to say yes and enjoy myself. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy planned outings or that I'll automatically respond yes to a spontaneous event but I realize my emotional reaction now to both. I believe it's the feeling of usefulness of time and rushing. When an event is planned I feel the pressure of time, performance, and the loss of freedom. When an event comes out of spontaneous there seems a momentary choice, a relaxation of attending, and enjoyment of the possibility of what could occur. That's what I've realized. The picture from above is another spontaneous event where I joined Jill up on Brooks' rooftop for dinner and drinks, again, another whim of the moment gig - and it was fun, cold, but fun!