The Hum of the Call

Forks are for eating
Originally uploaded by andebos.

I've been wondering a lot about this feeling in my heart...I'm actually even hesitant to blog about this because people always jump all over you when they hear about your future. Yes, it is true that our friends and loved ones have good advice, but sometimes what they want is not always what is best for us. It's even tougher when you know they want the best for you...it is just that they are mistaken, or you are not in a place where you can hear and understand their words. Well, I am getting close to a place in my life where I am having to decide where life is heading. Will I stay here? Will I go? Who will stay involved in my life and who will slowly drift away? All these are tricky, delicate, questions that are bound to raise more questions, and hurt feelings. Ever since I moved back to KC I have had this feeling - a feeling which I have referred to as, "The Hum of the Call." There is a soft humming in my heart as to where my life needs to go - I won't go as far as to call it my destiny, though that word is fun to throw around, makes us feel important. Anyway this hum is almost a gentle whisper, telling me my life is heading somewhere else after this year. I can't say where at this point - I just know it's going in a different direction then I currently know. Not in terms of teaching - I want to pursue this profession for the rest of my life, in one form or another. I am referring to what I believe means location, however, it could mean a variety of things (I won't begin to start hypothesising, not yet anyway). As far as I know this hum is also an independent hum, by that I mean I feel that my journey to begin my life will be alone...unfortunately - because I have learned the lesson of how important community truly is in my life. I know I won't be alone, God is with me, and He intends for me to fit in a community upon arrival - or evantually, but my journey will be a lonely but necessary one. This is the feeling of my heart...the hum of the call. It will be interesting to see where things lead me over the next two years, and whose lives are intertwined and untied from mine. One thing I do know - God is a faithful Lord, he has provided, protected, and Reigned over me since my journey here. My thanks to Him for his protection, it has not gone unnoticed. Thank you for your hums and convictions...I am trying to become the man you want me to grow into.

"Wanted to belong here...But something felt so wrong here. . . Out of the darkness and into the Son, But I won't forget all the ones that I loved, I'll take a risk, Take a chance, Make a change...And breakaway"